onionbagblog
Goggle Vision
A quick heads up for anyone at a loose end on Wednesday evening and fancies wasting away their time at a Lambeth Council leisure meeting.
Just me then...
Liberal Democrat Councillor Dianna Braithwaite has tabled the following motion:
'Lambeth Nu Labour are knobbers, and Greenwich Leisure Limited couldn't manage a paddling pool, let alone the Rotten Borough's flagship leisure centre.'
I paraphrase of course; the full motion is at the foot of this post. In summary the Love Me I'm a Liberal lot don't think much to Nu Labour's preferred leisure partner who they have pimped out Lambeth's leisure provision to.
Brief background: Greenwich Leisure Limited (GLL) took over the management of leisure facilities in the Rotten Borough in March of last year. It quickly closed down Brixton Rec for a 'three month period of refurbishment.' Despite pleas by the users to stagger the work, Brixton Rec still resembles a bloody building site.
Other issues remain. The Rec is more than a leisure centre; it is at the heart of the Brixton community. GLL is purely in the business of leisure, and profiteering leisure at that. The many social rooms at the Rec now remain empty, and anyone wanting to graduate with a first class Honours degree from the hugely popular University of Dub (aye) in Brixton will now be left disappointed.
The promised new climbing wall remains just a promise. The heavy weights area, so popular with the particular Brixton demographic, is no longer 'a policy supported by GLL.' There's no tiptoeing around the subject - the heavy weights was the main leisure activity at the Rec used by Brixton's black youth. A response from Brixton Rec Users (independent group) to the proposed LibDem motion also notes:
'There is a visible reduction in black staff and managers.'
And then there's the whole pricing structure problems. I'm fortunate in that GLL inherited my direct debit of £22 a month for a swim only membership. My gym days are long gone; all the body can now take is twenty odd lengths each morning. New members are offered no such package. It's either a whopping £37 for a full membership, with swimming alone no longer being an option.
What a great way to promote a healthy lifestyle to families in the Rotten Borough.
After refusing to initially listen to Brixton Rec Users and ruling out any form of consultation, Councillor Lib Peck, Cabinet Member for Environment & Culture, has now requested a meeting with the Rec users. Nothing to do with the vote of no confidence of course.
The now obligatory Brixton Rec Users Facebook group has been set up. Great, I thought; if it works for Tibetan Monks, then the campaigning face of the modern interweb should work for the downtrodden and oppressed users of Brixton Rec.
Except the BRU Facebook Group has a link to Vauxhall LibDems, and Londoners for Clegg, not to mention Brian Paddick for Mayor of London.
And so it's not really a Facebook group for Brixton Rec Users, but a Facebook group for LibDems who use Brixton Rec. Of which I could probably count on my left hand the number of users (or should that be right hand? Oh, you know - they never have a policy about anything.)
Yes, it's the same LibDems who when in power in the Rotten Borough considered closing the Rec for good. More party politics being played with one of the landmarks at the heart of the Brixton community.
Real change and improvement doesn't come through politicians, especially local knobber politicians. It comes through community.
********
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT MOTION TO COUNCIL
Motion 1: Crisis in the Leisure Service
Councillor Dianna Braithwaite
Council believes that the borough’s leisure centres are valued by the local community and are vital resource to help local people improve their health and wellbeing. However Council expresses its serious concerns at the current trends in services and the increasing complaints from users and past-users of the services.
Council recalls that the Council started the new contract with Greenwich Leisure Limited under a cloud after refusing to take part in consultation meetings that the council had itself called and then drawing up and implementing refurbishment proposals without any public consultation for users or councillors. Council notes with concern that the Executive Director reports “continuing problems” with contract monitoring as recently as January 2008.
At the same time that the new contractor was appointed the Labour Administration sought to increase charges for the borough’s leisure services by around a quarter - an increase that the contractor did not wholly support. The result has been a catastrophic drop in the number of people visiting the borough’s leisure centres. According to figures supplied by the council the number of visits to the borough's centres dropped 43% with data for October 2007 compared to October 2006 showing that some 45,000 fewer visits were made.
In particular the figures show that crisis is evident at every leisure centre in the borough:
Streatham Leisure Centre - down 39%
Clapham Leisure Centre - down 15%
Brixton Leisure Centre - down 53%·
Ferndale Leisure Centre - down 53%
Flaxman Leisure Centre - down 54%
Council notes that the new “Wellness” centre membership prices are now not competitive with the growing competition around the borough and questions whether this is a realistic pricing policy.
Council notes that at the Brixton Recreation Centre users have had some services closed to them for the majority of this Labour Administration after two lengthy closures and further delays to re-opening. Council expresses its regret that Lambeth Life reported in December 2007 that “Upgrade works to refurbish the once ailing Brixton Recreation Centre in Pope’s Road is now complete” when notices displayed at the centre reveal that re-opening of some facilities was delayed further until the end of January 2008.
The council questions whether, given the reduction in the number of users at the centre, the money invested in the centre has been spent in the right areas and whether the newly discovered “structural problems” have been rectified.
Council notes that at the Streatham Leisure Centre the sharp price increases coupled with poor standards of cleaning and maintenance have seen users voting with their feet and leaving the leisure centre in significant numbers. Council believes that as the impending closure of the centre has been put back for at least another year a proper maintenance regime must be put in place and that in any case users should not have to suffer sub-standard cleaning and broken equipment. Council regrets that requests to the Cabinet Member responsible for the service to undertake an inspection with local councillors have not received a response.
Council notes that users of the Flaxman Road centre are complaining of continual closure of their facilities, that changes being proposed to the centre do not meet with widespread support from users and that this is becoming particularly acute now that Brixton Recreation Centre no longer offers the same heavy weights areas that were once popular with many local people.
Council notes that the every time the question of the future of the Clapham Leisure Centre has come before the council motions have been passed guaranteeing continuity of service throughout any redevelopment works. Council reaffirms this position with regard to any “Future Clapham” proposals.
Council notes that the Divisional Director for the Leisure Service has now left the council and that a replacement has been appointed without reference to an Appointments Committee or consultation with users.
Council resolves:
1. To censure the Labour Administration for presiding over the serious decline in leisure services.
2. To instruct the Cabinet Member for the leisure service to introduce a programme of visits to which councillors and officers are invited so that they may inspect leisure services at each leisure centre in the borough for their standards of cleanliness, maintenance and overall service quality.
3. To instruct the contractor to improve cleaning and maintenance at Streatham and all other leisure centres and to keep to the highest standards of cleanliness.
4. To ensure that all future investment in leisure services is made only after extensive public consultation with users, local people and all councillors.
5. To instruct the Executive Director to set new targets for increasing the number of people using the Borough’s leisure services and report on these figures to councillors on a monthly basis.
6. To instruct the Executive Director to hold a review of all of the borough’s prices for leisure services in comparison with other local facilities and report to councillors on proposals for changes to make the borough’s pricing more accessible and appealing to local residents.
7. To hold a special meeting of councillors at which the Cabinet Member, Council Officers and the Contractor can be held to account for the problems in the leisure service.
********
technorati: brixton rec
| Tuesday 29 January, 2008 |
A quick heads up for anyone at a loose end on Wednesday evening and fancies wasting away their time at a Lambeth Council leisure meeting.
Just me then...
Liberal Democrat Councillor Dianna Braithwaite has tabled the following motion:
'Lambeth Nu Labour are knobbers, and Greenwich Leisure Limited couldn't manage a paddling pool, let alone the Rotten Borough's flagship leisure centre.'
I paraphrase of course; the full motion is at the foot of this post. In summary the Love Me I'm a Liberal lot don't think much to Nu Labour's preferred leisure partner who they have pimped out Lambeth's leisure provision to.
Brief background: Greenwich Leisure Limited (GLL) took over the management of leisure facilities in the Rotten Borough in March of last year. It quickly closed down Brixton Rec for a 'three month period of refurbishment.' Despite pleas by the users to stagger the work, Brixton Rec still resembles a bloody building site.
Other issues remain. The Rec is more than a leisure centre; it is at the heart of the Brixton community. GLL is purely in the business of leisure, and profiteering leisure at that. The many social rooms at the Rec now remain empty, and anyone wanting to graduate with a first class Honours degree from the hugely popular University of Dub (aye) in Brixton will now be left disappointed.
The promised new climbing wall remains just a promise. The heavy weights area, so popular with the particular Brixton demographic, is no longer 'a policy supported by GLL.' There's no tiptoeing around the subject - the heavy weights was the main leisure activity at the Rec used by Brixton's black youth. A response from Brixton Rec Users (independent group) to the proposed LibDem motion also notes:
'There is a visible reduction in black staff and managers.'
And then there's the whole pricing structure problems. I'm fortunate in that GLL inherited my direct debit of £22 a month for a swim only membership. My gym days are long gone; all the body can now take is twenty odd lengths each morning. New members are offered no such package. It's either a whopping £37 for a full membership, with swimming alone no longer being an option.
What a great way to promote a healthy lifestyle to families in the Rotten Borough.
After refusing to initially listen to Brixton Rec Users and ruling out any form of consultation, Councillor Lib Peck, Cabinet Member for Environment & Culture, has now requested a meeting with the Rec users. Nothing to do with the vote of no confidence of course.
The now obligatory Brixton Rec Users Facebook group has been set up. Great, I thought; if it works for Tibetan Monks, then the campaigning face of the modern interweb should work for the downtrodden and oppressed users of Brixton Rec.
Except the BRU Facebook Group has a link to Vauxhall LibDems, and Londoners for Clegg, not to mention Brian Paddick for Mayor of London.
And so it's not really a Facebook group for Brixton Rec Users, but a Facebook group for LibDems who use Brixton Rec. Of which I could probably count on my left hand the number of users (or should that be right hand? Oh, you know - they never have a policy about anything.)
Yes, it's the same LibDems who when in power in the Rotten Borough considered closing the Rec for good. More party politics being played with one of the landmarks at the heart of the Brixton community.
Real change and improvement doesn't come through politicians, especially local knobber politicians. It comes through community.
********
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT MOTION TO COUNCIL
Motion 1: Crisis in the Leisure Service
Councillor Dianna Braithwaite
Council believes that the borough’s leisure centres are valued by the local community and are vital resource to help local people improve their health and wellbeing. However Council expresses its serious concerns at the current trends in services and the increasing complaints from users and past-users of the services.
Council recalls that the Council started the new contract with Greenwich Leisure Limited under a cloud after refusing to take part in consultation meetings that the council had itself called and then drawing up and implementing refurbishment proposals without any public consultation for users or councillors. Council notes with concern that the Executive Director reports “continuing problems” with contract monitoring as recently as January 2008.
At the same time that the new contractor was appointed the Labour Administration sought to increase charges for the borough’s leisure services by around a quarter - an increase that the contractor did not wholly support. The result has been a catastrophic drop in the number of people visiting the borough’s leisure centres. According to figures supplied by the council the number of visits to the borough's centres dropped 43% with data for October 2007 compared to October 2006 showing that some 45,000 fewer visits were made.
In particular the figures show that crisis is evident at every leisure centre in the borough:
Streatham Leisure Centre - down 39%
Clapham Leisure Centre - down 15%
Brixton Leisure Centre - down 53%·
Ferndale Leisure Centre - down 53%
Flaxman Leisure Centre - down 54%
Council notes that the new “Wellness” centre membership prices are now not competitive with the growing competition around the borough and questions whether this is a realistic pricing policy.
Council notes that at the Brixton Recreation Centre users have had some services closed to them for the majority of this Labour Administration after two lengthy closures and further delays to re-opening. Council expresses its regret that Lambeth Life reported in December 2007 that “Upgrade works to refurbish the once ailing Brixton Recreation Centre in Pope’s Road is now complete” when notices displayed at the centre reveal that re-opening of some facilities was delayed further until the end of January 2008.
The council questions whether, given the reduction in the number of users at the centre, the money invested in the centre has been spent in the right areas and whether the newly discovered “structural problems” have been rectified.
Council notes that at the Streatham Leisure Centre the sharp price increases coupled with poor standards of cleaning and maintenance have seen users voting with their feet and leaving the leisure centre in significant numbers. Council believes that as the impending closure of the centre has been put back for at least another year a proper maintenance regime must be put in place and that in any case users should not have to suffer sub-standard cleaning and broken equipment. Council regrets that requests to the Cabinet Member responsible for the service to undertake an inspection with local councillors have not received a response.
Council notes that users of the Flaxman Road centre are complaining of continual closure of their facilities, that changes being proposed to the centre do not meet with widespread support from users and that this is becoming particularly acute now that Brixton Recreation Centre no longer offers the same heavy weights areas that were once popular with many local people.
Council notes that the every time the question of the future of the Clapham Leisure Centre has come before the council motions have been passed guaranteeing continuity of service throughout any redevelopment works. Council reaffirms this position with regard to any “Future Clapham” proposals.
Council notes that the Divisional Director for the Leisure Service has now left the council and that a replacement has been appointed without reference to an Appointments Committee or consultation with users.
Council resolves:
1. To censure the Labour Administration for presiding over the serious decline in leisure services.
2. To instruct the Cabinet Member for the leisure service to introduce a programme of visits to which councillors and officers are invited so that they may inspect leisure services at each leisure centre in the borough for their standards of cleanliness, maintenance and overall service quality.
3. To instruct the contractor to improve cleaning and maintenance at Streatham and all other leisure centres and to keep to the highest standards of cleanliness.
4. To ensure that all future investment in leisure services is made only after extensive public consultation with users, local people and all councillors.
5. To instruct the Executive Director to set new targets for increasing the number of people using the Borough’s leisure services and report on these figures to councillors on a monthly basis.
6. To instruct the Executive Director to hold a review of all of the borough’s prices for leisure services in comparison with other local facilities and report to councillors on proposals for changes to make the borough’s pricing more accessible and appealing to local residents.
7. To hold a special meeting of councillors at which the Cabinet Member, Council Officers and the Contractor can be held to account for the problems in the leisure service.
********
technorati: brixton rec
| #permalink |
Crap Match Report
Dulwich Hamlet 2 Walton & Hersham 1, 26/01/08
It wasn't all about Anfield on Saturday afternoon. The non-league pyramid may have been toppling the Premiership prima donnas in the Cup, but back down at the base and Dulwich were battling away against Walton & Hersham for a promotion play-off place.
Ths is Anfield?
Stuff that. This is SE22; with a Sainsbury's next door, I can combine my weekly football fix with my weekly food shop.
'You'll never cook alone,' I told the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger as I loaded up the trolley with microwave chips. But we were rather alone for the football. With the Dulwich Supporter's Team playing away on foreign soil (part-timers!) the Rabble behind the goal was reduced to a ball boy and mrs obb. At least she was keeping up with the Rabblers in the style stakes.
'This is quite a big game,' she observed, noting that Walton are pushing Dulwich for a play off place. It's not exactly Anfield but at least I could return to my locked up bike safe in the knowledge that the wheels would still be in place.
Just like Chelsea, Dulwich were weakened with call-ups to the Africa Cup of Nations; what do you mean you've never heard of Shawn Beveney, the Guyanaian midfield geezer?
The first half was justification for the MOTD cameras being up at Anfield. Forty-five minutes playing keepy up is quite a feat, but not when it's played between two centre half cloggers. The first time Walton got the ball on the ground they were left trying to find some away fans to celebrate the first goal with.
'We're over here!' came the lone cry from a Surrey couple in the crowd. But the moment was lost, and so were Dulwich going in 1-0 down at the break.
The real threat came from a kid at half time who was sliding in on the Dulwich reserve 'keeper during a warm up. It would have warranted a red, but a clip round the ear did the job.
Dulwich also had some strong discipline in the second half. I don't think manager Craig Edwards resorted to ear clipping, but I doubt if the Dulwich dressing room was tea and biscuits all round at the break.
An unlucky own goal (is there ever such thing as a lucky one?) drew Dulwich level. The romantic within didn't want to be anywhere else but Champion Hill. You can stick yer Anfield up yer arse. Then I turned around and saw the sometime Rabbler mrs obb and remembered that I've yet to have an away day up on Merseyside.
The tears were overflowing when Dewayne Clarke scored the winner for Dulwich with a perfectly executed lob that wouldn't have looked out of place at Liverpool. The celebration may have been lacking a 20,000 Cop to share in the delight, but mrs obb and her Rabbler outlook more than made up for it.
Calm down, calm down.
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| Sunday 27 January, 2008 |
Dulwich Hamlet 2 Walton & Hersham 1, 26/01/08
It wasn't all about Anfield on Saturday afternoon. The non-league pyramid may have been toppling the Premiership prima donnas in the Cup, but back down at the base and Dulwich were battling away against Walton & Hersham for a promotion play-off place.
Ths is Anfield?
Stuff that. This is SE22; with a Sainsbury's next door, I can combine my weekly football fix with my weekly food shop.
'You'll never cook alone,' I told the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger as I loaded up the trolley with microwave chips. But we were rather alone for the football. With the Dulwich Supporter's Team playing away on foreign soil (part-timers!) the Rabble behind the goal was reduced to a ball boy and mrs obb. At least she was keeping up with the Rabblers in the style stakes.
'This is quite a big game,' she observed, noting that Walton are pushing Dulwich for a play off place. It's not exactly Anfield but at least I could return to my locked up bike safe in the knowledge that the wheels would still be in place.
Just like Chelsea, Dulwich were weakened with call-ups to the Africa Cup of Nations; what do you mean you've never heard of Shawn Beveney, the Guyanaian midfield geezer?
The first half was justification for the MOTD cameras being up at Anfield. Forty-five minutes playing keepy up is quite a feat, but not when it's played between two centre half cloggers. The first time Walton got the ball on the ground they were left trying to find some away fans to celebrate the first goal with.
'We're over here!' came the lone cry from a Surrey couple in the crowd. But the moment was lost, and so were Dulwich going in 1-0 down at the break.
The real threat came from a kid at half time who was sliding in on the Dulwich reserve 'keeper during a warm up. It would have warranted a red, but a clip round the ear did the job.
Dulwich also had some strong discipline in the second half. I don't think manager Craig Edwards resorted to ear clipping, but I doubt if the Dulwich dressing room was tea and biscuits all round at the break.
An unlucky own goal (is there ever such thing as a lucky one?) drew Dulwich level. The romantic within didn't want to be anywhere else but Champion Hill. You can stick yer Anfield up yer arse. Then I turned around and saw the sometime Rabbler mrs obb and remembered that I've yet to have an away day up on Merseyside.
The tears were overflowing when Dewayne Clarke scored the winner for Dulwich with a perfectly executed lob that wouldn't have looked out of place at Liverpool. The celebration may have been lacking a 20,000 Cop to share in the delight, but mrs obb and her Rabbler outlook more than made up for it.
Calm down, calm down.
|
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| #permalink |
Photo Friday
Self-employed and self-empowerment - it is truly a fantastic feeling to be supporting yourself and being able to make or break your own destiny. And so after making the momentous decision late last year to be self-sufficient, Thursday afternoon saw me in the grand setting of the lobby at the Thistle Hotel at Victoria, taking control of a photo shoot for the Ministry of Justice.
Blimey. The school playground Somewhere in SE17 this most certainly wasn't.
Taking photos around town at your own leisure and for your own purpose is one thing; translate this into a corporate setting with an expectant client, and that forefinger becomes a little extra twitchy over the shutter release.
I think I got away with it.
But it's now no longer simply a case of 'getting away with it.' It's right now, every time otherwise you're back to the 9-5.
No thanks.
It's amazing how your confidence can grow once you make that transition from amateur to professional. It still puts a smile on my face now. I was only ever amateur in the sense that previously I very rarely charged for my work. My status has changed overnight in the handing over of a brown envelope at Victoria station.
The modern interweb opens up these kinds of opportunities for all. Advertising and promotion are simple and cost effective. Locating your precise market online is a lot easier.
Everything went smooth on Thursday afternoon. It was a tight turnaround with plenty of planning beforehand. Prints were required pretty much instantly. Given the freedom of my bike, I managed to pull it off.
It feels fucking great to be honest. I'm free to accept work, free to turn down work; I'm still undecided about the offer of a night shoot to celebrate a young lady's sixteenth birthday with a house party.
That index finger will be twitching in overtime.
technorati: photography
| Friday 25 January, 2008 |
Self-employed and self-empowerment - it is truly a fantastic feeling to be supporting yourself and being able to make or break your own destiny. And so after making the momentous decision late last year to be self-sufficient, Thursday afternoon saw me in the grand setting of the lobby at the Thistle Hotel at Victoria, taking control of a photo shoot for the Ministry of Justice.
Blimey. The school playground Somewhere in SE17 this most certainly wasn't.
Taking photos around town at your own leisure and for your own purpose is one thing; translate this into a corporate setting with an expectant client, and that forefinger becomes a little extra twitchy over the shutter release.
I think I got away with it.
But it's now no longer simply a case of 'getting away with it.' It's right now, every time otherwise you're back to the 9-5.
No thanks.
It's amazing how your confidence can grow once you make that transition from amateur to professional. It still puts a smile on my face now. I was only ever amateur in the sense that previously I very rarely charged for my work. My status has changed overnight in the handing over of a brown envelope at Victoria station.
The modern interweb opens up these kinds of opportunities for all. Advertising and promotion are simple and cost effective. Locating your precise market online is a lot easier.
Everything went smooth on Thursday afternoon. It was a tight turnaround with plenty of planning beforehand. Prints were required pretty much instantly. Given the freedom of my bike, I managed to pull it off.
It feels fucking great to be honest. I'm free to accept work, free to turn down work; I'm still undecided about the offer of a night shoot to celebrate a young lady's sixteenth birthday with a house party.
That index finger will be twitching in overtime.
technorati: photography
| #permalink |
Open All Hours
Want to meet the locals but not quite at the street drinker level as your downward spiral to inner contentment continues?
Happiness can't be found in a tin of Tennent's, but it can be found in a tin of wood varnish.
I've spent the best part of this week holding court (and a tin of varnish) outside onionbagblog HQ II. It's not that varnish is superior in alcohol content ('even the bums on the street don't drink that!') It's just that I'm under orders from the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger to varnish the new front door before the next period of wet weather settles on not so Sunny Stockwell.
It's an open door policy in SW8 right now. Back in the good old days, blah blah blah and you could leave yer front door open etc. Well that's exactly what I've been doing all this week (as well as hiding a hammer away behind the door just in case Vest Man makes a return to these parts.)
I've been filled with a genuine sense of community as well as becoming a human cigarette machine.
'No, I'm sorry mate - I don't smoke.'
Is having an open door and holding a tin of varnish some sort of code for 'gis a fag?'
The old Western Indian brew crew boys have become my mid-morning conversation buddies. We shoot the breeze over the issues of the day - 'facking wife, faking Council, facking Amy Winehouse etc,' and then they see off another can of Red Stripe whilst I wipe away my varnish mistakes dribbling all the way down the letterbox.
'Ya carrrn paint like dat, man' (it would sound even more ridiculous if I actually spoke it.) 'Ya say ya got an old lady indoors - ya don't mean boyfriend?'
Whoops. But it certainly livened up the dull moments waiting for the second layer to dry.
Aside from my potential new domino partners, I've become pally with the Spurs supporting SW8 Cypriot dry cleaner (that's quite am extreme demographic for you,) the teenage Dad who struggles with his six kids (but you know, respect Bro) and even the Ice Maidens in the all female house next door who have enquired about my French polishing skills.
I tried a similar experiment last summer, sitting outside in the front garden with a hankie on my head. This is normal behaviour in SW8, but the sense of community was there to sample.
Or maybe they all just thought I was a local loon and took pity on me?
The door job itself is like painting the Fourth Bridge. Endless brush strokes carried out at a ridiculous height. I suffer from vertigo standing on a shagpile carpet.
I should be finally finished later on this afternoon. I'm thinking of leaving the front door permanently open as a further social experiment. Ice Maidens or old boy Brew Crew? Bring your own booze (but not boyfriends.)
technorati: meet the locals
| Thursday 24 January, 2008 |
Want to meet the locals but not quite at the street drinker level as your downward spiral to inner contentment continues?
Happiness can't be found in a tin of Tennent's, but it can be found in a tin of wood varnish.
I've spent the best part of this week holding court (and a tin of varnish) outside onionbagblog HQ II. It's not that varnish is superior in alcohol content ('even the bums on the street don't drink that!') It's just that I'm under orders from the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger to varnish the new front door before the next period of wet weather settles on not so Sunny Stockwell.
It's an open door policy in SW8 right now. Back in the good old days, blah blah blah and you could leave yer front door open etc. Well that's exactly what I've been doing all this week (as well as hiding a hammer away behind the door just in case Vest Man makes a return to these parts.)
I've been filled with a genuine sense of community as well as becoming a human cigarette machine.
'No, I'm sorry mate - I don't smoke.'
Is having an open door and holding a tin of varnish some sort of code for 'gis a fag?'
The old Western Indian brew crew boys have become my mid-morning conversation buddies. We shoot the breeze over the issues of the day - 'facking wife, faking Council, facking Amy Winehouse etc,' and then they see off another can of Red Stripe whilst I wipe away my varnish mistakes dribbling all the way down the letterbox.
'Ya carrrn paint like dat, man' (it would sound even more ridiculous if I actually spoke it.) 'Ya say ya got an old lady indoors - ya don't mean boyfriend?'
Whoops. But it certainly livened up the dull moments waiting for the second layer to dry.
Aside from my potential new domino partners, I've become pally with the Spurs supporting SW8 Cypriot dry cleaner (that's quite am extreme demographic for you,) the teenage Dad who struggles with his six kids (but you know, respect Bro) and even the Ice Maidens in the all female house next door who have enquired about my French polishing skills.
I tried a similar experiment last summer, sitting outside in the front garden with a hankie on my head. This is normal behaviour in SW8, but the sense of community was there to sample.
Or maybe they all just thought I was a local loon and took pity on me?
The door job itself is like painting the Fourth Bridge. Endless brush strokes carried out at a ridiculous height. I suffer from vertigo standing on a shagpile carpet.
I should be finally finished later on this afternoon. I'm thinking of leaving the front door permanently open as a further social experiment. Ice Maidens or old boy Brew Crew? Bring your own booze (but not boyfriends.)
technorati: meet the locals
| #permalink |
Piss Off
Earlier this month I managed to change Lambeth Council policy through blogging. Quite a sweeping statement, but true all the same. There wasn't any overall coordinated campaign, just common sense. It seemed silly to trouble the police reporting a missing wheelie bin, just so that the Lambeth Council knobbers could claim for their chronic under-investment in waste disposal through some semi-legit insurance scam.
Crap Council policy binned, still no bloody new bin though.
It now gives me great pleasure to report that street pissing in Sunny Stockwell has been slashed - all thanks to the power of a blog. As far as mission statements go, Stockwell Toilet Watch doesn't have much editorial scope. Don't expect posts about kittens.
He may be one-dimensional in terms of a mission statement, but the mighty fine Mr Toilet Watch has been fighting a dogged online campaign for public toilet facilities in SW8. Not just better toilet facilities, any toilet facilities.
And just like the bin U-turn, we now have a public u-bend in Stockwell. It's more of a Glasto style chemical flush, but if I ever get caught short outside Jack's Supermarket (the superior purveyor of dodgy Polish booze for any street drinker) then I won't be caught with my pants down again.
We were promised pissoirs in Sunny Stockwell, the very public face of al fresco pissing. Instead we've got a portaloo. But hey - it's OUR portaloo (not strictly true as it's probably on lease as some sort of similar insurance scam for the Lambeth Council knobbers. Don't even contemplate reporting it stolen to the police and obtaining a crime reference number.)
Apparently there was some problem with the pissoirs that were given a temporary trial; aside from the fact that females couldn't piss in them, a heavy Friday night of action from punters at The Swan made them simply too heavy to remove and drain the next day.
It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.
Portaloo it is then.
But wait, what's this? After changing Council policy, Mr Toilet Watch is now being threatened with legal action by the knobbers. That really is taking the piss. The 69-year old pensioner has apparently upset the Lambeth Council knobbers online. Tut tut.
The threat of an injunction hangs over Stockwell Toilet Watch: You give us a poxy portaloo and then shit on us from high up above.
The Nu Labour knobbers at Lambeth Council talk a lot of shit about many things. They've even fantasised about a high tech toilet that disappears underground when not in use (I'm seriously not making this up.)
My solution would be to combine the bin and bog dilemma. A portaloo is nothing but a glorified wheelie bin with a plastic bog seat. Next time my wheelie bin goes missing then I'll deposit my waste in the Stockwell portaloo. If the Stockwell portaloo goes for a wander and I'm caught short outside Jack's Supermarket then a wheelie bin is good for a wee.
We can't all have access to the Lambeth Council Town Hall toilets, and with the male staff toilets having been tested positive for cocaine [foot of story,] I think I'll stick with the crappy portaloo thank you very much.
technorati: stockwell toilets
| Wednesday 23 January, 2008 |
Earlier this month I managed to change Lambeth Council policy through blogging. Quite a sweeping statement, but true all the same. There wasn't any overall coordinated campaign, just common sense. It seemed silly to trouble the police reporting a missing wheelie bin, just so that the Lambeth Council knobbers could claim for their chronic under-investment in waste disposal through some semi-legit insurance scam.
Crap Council policy binned, still no bloody new bin though.
It now gives me great pleasure to report that street pissing in Sunny Stockwell has been slashed - all thanks to the power of a blog. As far as mission statements go, Stockwell Toilet Watch doesn't have much editorial scope. Don't expect posts about kittens.
He may be one-dimensional in terms of a mission statement, but the mighty fine Mr Toilet Watch has been fighting a dogged online campaign for public toilet facilities in SW8. Not just better toilet facilities, any toilet facilities.
And just like the bin U-turn, we now have a public u-bend in Stockwell. It's more of a Glasto style chemical flush, but if I ever get caught short outside Jack's Supermarket (the superior purveyor of dodgy Polish booze for any street drinker) then I won't be caught with my pants down again.
We were promised pissoirs in Sunny Stockwell, the very public face of al fresco pissing. Instead we've got a portaloo. But hey - it's OUR portaloo (not strictly true as it's probably on lease as some sort of similar insurance scam for the Lambeth Council knobbers. Don't even contemplate reporting it stolen to the police and obtaining a crime reference number.)
Apparently there was some problem with the pissoirs that were given a temporary trial; aside from the fact that females couldn't piss in them, a heavy Friday night of action from punters at The Swan made them simply too heavy to remove and drain the next day.
It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.
Portaloo it is then.
But wait, what's this? After changing Council policy, Mr Toilet Watch is now being threatened with legal action by the knobbers. That really is taking the piss. The 69-year old pensioner has apparently upset the Lambeth Council knobbers online. Tut tut.
The threat of an injunction hangs over Stockwell Toilet Watch: You give us a poxy portaloo and then shit on us from high up above.
The Nu Labour knobbers at Lambeth Council talk a lot of shit about many things. They've even fantasised about a high tech toilet that disappears underground when not in use (I'm seriously not making this up.)
My solution would be to combine the bin and bog dilemma. A portaloo is nothing but a glorified wheelie bin with a plastic bog seat. Next time my wheelie bin goes missing then I'll deposit my waste in the Stockwell portaloo. If the Stockwell portaloo goes for a wander and I'm caught short outside Jack's Supermarket then a wheelie bin is good for a wee.
We can't all have access to the Lambeth Council Town Hall toilets, and with the male staff toilets having been tested positive for cocaine [foot of story,] I think I'll stick with the crappy portaloo thank you very much.
technorati: stockwell toilets
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Wide Awake
I made my way over to Malet Street, WC1, for a photo shoot with the Way We See It. My oversized DM's haven't been treading on people's toes in this part of town since the Indie Schmindie days of the early '90s.
The old ULU venue was a regular hangout in my Snakebite and Black Boy About Town phase. Eight quid tickets on the door, five pints for a fiver and cherry red DM's down the front forgood kicking. Best years of your life, etc, but I didn't see much hedonism from the Young Turks of ULU '08 when I returned. Probably all too busy with future careers to plan.
Most memories of this period are a little patchy. As was the music if I'm being brutally honest. Suede Dog Man Star period stands out, and I'm sure the Boo's put in a half decent set just before Giant Steps broke through.
Dodgy during theGreat shite Summer of Britpop were, well, dodgy; the less said about my backstage hanging out with Audioweb the better (although it's not every Boy About Town who can boast watching the FA Cup final backstage with some Britpop also-rans and a couple of groupies in tow.)
I set my sights higher one evening, being turned down by the lovely Lauren Laverne during her Kenickie hot pants phase.
'Fuck off you twat' was the answer to the question 'what's a nice girl like you doing in a dump like this.'
And so ULU and Malet Street have some onionbagblog history. But '08 styles and I was more concerned with composition than copping off with female guitar Goddesses.
That's really putting the boot in.
technorati: malet street
| Tuesday 22 January, 2008 |
I made my way over to Malet Street, WC1, for a photo shoot with the Way We See It. My oversized DM's haven't been treading on people's toes in this part of town since the Indie Schmindie days of the early '90s.
The old ULU venue was a regular hangout in my Snakebite and Black Boy About Town phase. Eight quid tickets on the door, five pints for a fiver and cherry red DM's down the front forgood kicking. Best years of your life, etc, but I didn't see much hedonism from the Young Turks of ULU '08 when I returned. Probably all too busy with future careers to plan.
Most memories of this period are a little patchy. As was the music if I'm being brutally honest. Suede Dog Man Star period stands out, and I'm sure the Boo's put in a half decent set just before Giant Steps broke through.
Dodgy during the
I set my sights higher one evening, being turned down by the lovely Lauren Laverne during her Kenickie hot pants phase.
'Fuck off you twat' was the answer to the question 'what's a nice girl like you doing in a dump like this.'
And so ULU and Malet Street have some onionbagblog history. But '08 styles and I was more concerned with composition than copping off with female guitar Goddesses.
That's really putting the boot in.
technorati: malet street
| #permalink |
Speak Up
A few finer points of order...
To the Apple Store clone dude:
No, I'm not trying to nick these speakers. They are mine that I purchased from your clone store last week. The original pair didn't work, as is the case with this replacement pair that you are now accusing me of stealing as I put them back in my bag. I bought them in to tell an Apple Store clone dude that your speakers are shit.
At least I didn't set off the alarm... much like Mr Door Man who came round (very late) today to install a new (and slightly over-priced) front door.
'I wonder if the old front door burglar alarm will work on the new door?' asked the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger last night.
Her question was answered when Mr Door Man hacked away at the old frame and cut through the cable.
Not now it won't.
I now have an (old school) wireless door alarm, whilst seeking a (nu school) set of wireless speakers.
technorati: speakers, doors, alarm bollocks...
| Tuesday 22 January, 2008 |
A few finer points of order...
To the Apple Store clone dude:
No, I'm not trying to nick these speakers. They are mine that I purchased from your clone store last week. The original pair didn't work, as is the case with this replacement pair that you are now accusing me of stealing as I put them back in my bag. I bought them in to tell an Apple Store clone dude that your speakers are shit.
At least I didn't set off the alarm... much like Mr Door Man who came round (very late) today to install a new (and slightly over-priced) front door.
'I wonder if the old front door burglar alarm will work on the new door?' asked the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger last night.
Her question was answered when Mr Door Man hacked away at the old frame and cut through the cable.
Not now it won't.
I now have an (old school) wireless door alarm, whilst seeking a (nu school) set of wireless speakers.
technorati: speakers, doors, alarm bollocks...
| #permalink |
Crap Match Report
Millwall Online 8, Dulwich Hamlet Supporters 1, 19/01/08
Recent crowds of fewer than 5,000 at The Den suggest that the Millwall could do with a little extra help. I'm not saying that the Lions are a charity case, but the Dulwich Hamlet Supporters' team was only too pleased to help out our near neighbours in a fundraising match held at Burgess Park on Saturday morning.
The Royal Marsden in Sutton was the recipient, a hospital that has recently treated the Goddaughter of one of the Millwall players, as well as former Dulwich all-round good egg, Martin Eede. It made perfect sense for the pink 'n blue boys to join together with our foes for some South London bonding.
The word on the Bermondsey streets is that the Millwall online virtual community actually outnumbers the dwindling fan base at The Den on match days. They certainly made more noise and brought back the good old days of fear and intimidation for all things associated with Millwall - and that was just the Millwall WAGS along the touchline.
It was a case of the morning after for the friendly Lions fella running the line with his flag. Technological advancement for Assistant Referees has come a long way in recent years. I've not seen the flag wavers in the Premiership running up and down with a can (or two) of Red Stripe though.
'Where is Dulwich?' enquired the lager-drinking Lino. You don't find many street drinkers along Lordship Lane, but then when was the last time you saw a Dulwich Mum down at The Den?
'No one knows us, we don’t care...' etc.
Played against the backdrop of bruising skies over the Aylesbury, some of the tackles were bruising as well. A shock early goal for Dulwich had us dreaming. So much so that our South London friends bagged four more before the break.
With a planned European trip to Namur in Belgium next week, continental tactics were on our mind at halftime. That's not something our Millwall mates have been able to boast for sometime.
They may be called Millwall Online but they were certainly offside for a failed attempt at a ninth goal. Given the charitable occasion, it was a little harsh for the young fella (probably just out of Primary school) to have a lino with a half finished can of Red Stripe flagging him down, just as the goal celebrations started. Still, the young pup deservedly got the Man of the Match award, and he can take tall tales back to the playground on Monday about how the beautiful game is played by real men (booze, blue language and bruising.)
The Dulwich squad rotation worked well on the charitable front. We deliberately picked twenty players, doubling the match fee money and boosting the funds for the Royal Marsden. I like to think that the score might have been different if I had played longer than 45 minutes: 16-1 rather 8-1 perhaps.
With all the football attention in recent weeks up in Tyneside, Saturday morning at Burgess Park was where you could find the true Beautiful Game. The grass roots that the FA likes to talk about as easily as it likes to dismiss, was on show in South London. Two teams, equally committed to club and comradeship, engaging in a friendly local rivalry.
Charity begins at home.
technorati: dulwich hamlet supporters team
| Saturday 19 January, 2008 |
Millwall Online 8, Dulwich Hamlet Supporters 1, 19/01/08
Recent crowds of fewer than 5,000 at The Den suggest that the Millwall could do with a little extra help. I'm not saying that the Lions are a charity case, but the Dulwich Hamlet Supporters' team was only too pleased to help out our near neighbours in a fundraising match held at Burgess Park on Saturday morning.
The Royal Marsden in Sutton was the recipient, a hospital that has recently treated the Goddaughter of one of the Millwall players, as well as former Dulwich all-round good egg, Martin Eede. It made perfect sense for the pink 'n blue boys to join together with our foes for some South London bonding.
The word on the Bermondsey streets is that the Millwall online virtual community actually outnumbers the dwindling fan base at The Den on match days. They certainly made more noise and brought back the good old days of fear and intimidation for all things associated with Millwall - and that was just the Millwall WAGS along the touchline.
It was a case of the morning after for the friendly Lions fella running the line with his flag. Technological advancement for Assistant Referees has come a long way in recent years. I've not seen the flag wavers in the Premiership running up and down with a can (or two) of Red Stripe though.
'Where is Dulwich?' enquired the lager-drinking Lino. You don't find many street drinkers along Lordship Lane, but then when was the last time you saw a Dulwich Mum down at The Den?
'No one knows us, we don’t care...' etc.
Played against the backdrop of bruising skies over the Aylesbury, some of the tackles were bruising as well. A shock early goal for Dulwich had us dreaming. So much so that our South London friends bagged four more before the break.
With a planned European trip to Namur in Belgium next week, continental tactics were on our mind at halftime. That's not something our Millwall mates have been able to boast for sometime.
They may be called Millwall Online but they were certainly offside for a failed attempt at a ninth goal. Given the charitable occasion, it was a little harsh for the young fella (probably just out of Primary school) to have a lino with a half finished can of Red Stripe flagging him down, just as the goal celebrations started. Still, the young pup deservedly got the Man of the Match award, and he can take tall tales back to the playground on Monday about how the beautiful game is played by real men (booze, blue language and bruising.)
The Dulwich squad rotation worked well on the charitable front. We deliberately picked twenty players, doubling the match fee money and boosting the funds for the Royal Marsden. I like to think that the score might have been different if I had played longer than 45 minutes: 16-1 rather 8-1 perhaps.
With all the football attention in recent weeks up in Tyneside, Saturday morning at Burgess Park was where you could find the true Beautiful Game. The grass roots that the FA likes to talk about as easily as it likes to dismiss, was on show in South London. Two teams, equally committed to club and comradeship, engaging in a friendly local rivalry.
Charity begins at home.
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technorati: dulwich hamlet supporters team
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