onionbagblog
Through the Seasons...
It's one of my favourite times of the footballing year - new season ticket time down at Dulwich! How exciting! I love a laminated credit card size piece of paper with a photograph depicting a proud moment from our club's 114 year history. Usually it's from sometime in the past ten years, usually a photograph taken by me.
But still - it's like Top Trumps time at school all over again.
My favourite picture was probably 2003's rabble of supporters from sometime in the '70s. The 1970's. Look behind the Dulwich goal at any home match and not much has changed to be honest.
I started watching Dulwich in 1995, but didn't buy a season ticket until four years later (for reasons I'd rather not go into here...)
There's still some catching up to do to overtake my thirty one year association with Forest; but come 4:45 on a Saturday afternoon, events up in the East Midlands are often brushed aside; down in Dulwich and I can spend the rest of my weekend feeling bloody depressed.
Just like last weekend.
I could always eBay them and yes, we do have a matching his 'n hers set. But it's part of my own social history and something that I'm rather proud of.
Nice new Supporters' Team kit as well.
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| Wednesday 29 August, 2007 |
It's one of my favourite times of the footballing year - new season ticket time down at Dulwich! How exciting! I love a laminated credit card size piece of paper with a photograph depicting a proud moment from our club's 114 year history. Usually it's from sometime in the past ten years, usually a photograph taken by me.
But still - it's like Top Trumps time at school all over again.
My favourite picture was probably 2003's rabble of supporters from sometime in the '70s. The 1970's. Look behind the Dulwich goal at any home match and not much has changed to be honest.
I started watching Dulwich in 1995, but didn't buy a season ticket until four years later (for reasons I'd rather not go into here...)
There's still some catching up to do to overtake my thirty one year association with Forest; but come 4:45 on a Saturday afternoon, events up in the East Midlands are often brushed aside; down in Dulwich and I can spend the rest of my weekend feeling bloody depressed.
Just like last weekend.
I could always eBay them and yes, we do have a matching his 'n hers set. But it's part of my own social history and something that I'm rather proud of.
Nice new Supporters' Team kit as well.
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| #permalink |
Crap Match Report
Surrey 280-8 beat Glamorgan 227 by 53 runs
A Bank Holiday bender at The Oval with my cricketing companion, the Glamorous Girly Friend.
'It's been a strange summer,' remarked the GGF as we stocked up on our booze outside The Oval.
Stick around for eight cans later, Girl, and I can guarantee it will get even stranger.
She was referring to the weather, the Surrey mid-season wobbler and laughing at me getting wasted in SE11. But before I even had time for my first beer, it got even weirder when Kenny Kennington came over to say hello. The Surrey mascot (man dressed as a mutt) took a liking to my lycra.
Down boy!
The dog was on heat (Kenny, not the GGF) and so I made some inappropriate comment about 'grown men with no sense of dignity,' and then sat down to make a fool of myself getting sozzled in the sun.
The first over was already underway and so I reminded the GGF of her cricketing etiquette: wait until the end of the over before taking up your seat. Not exactly setting an example to South London Yoof were a couple of coffin dodgers, walking right behind the bowler's arm during play. They were probably late for their own funeral and so I let the matter pass.
'World Cup star' *cough* David Hemp lost the toss for Glamorgan, and the Bermudan international set out his field as captain Ramps instructed his Surrey side to take a knock first.
James Benn-ing and Scott Newman managed to take Surrey to 99-2, and then new boy Richard Clinton lost his wicket for 10. Like his namesake Bill, Clinton's exit from centre stage was dignified, but with a whiff of controversy, if not cigar smoke.
Read my lips: 'Mr Ramps is on fine form.' A six out of the ground towards the old Cricketers pub led umpire Willey to hold a new ball in his hand. Where's Michael Holding when you need him?
But Mr Ramps became cocky and went for 27. Glamorgan dangled the bait and the Surrey batsmen took a nibble. Meanwhile the bloke sitting in front of me took a mouthful of jellied eels. It was too much for me to stomach - and for Ally Brown who went for 56 with Surrey on 224-5.
The Bermudan World Cup star took Jonathan Batty's wicket for four, and guess who's back? Yep - time for The Turbanator, Surrey Harbhajan Singh. Chris Schofield slogged for 51, not being able to stay the pace with the Turbanator who joined Mr Ramps with a hit out of the ground towards the Harleyford Road.
Matthew Nicholson was eventually run out as Surrey finished on a fine 280-8. The GGF and I were also on fine form, so much so that she sent me out to Threshers along Kennington Road during the break for some more booze.
I passed Kenny Kennington, who had his tail between his legs, looking a little worried after the earlier lycra incident. I didn't want to give the dog a bone (Kenny, not the GGF) and so I slipped out through the back entrance on the beer run.
Little else remains of the match to be honest. The scorecard shows that Surrey won, and I seem to remember James Benn-ing playing a game of Simon Said with the kids queuing up to get his autograph in the outfield. Oh - and eight cans of Stella, and still change from a ten pound note, proves that the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
technorati: surrey county cricket club
| Monday 28 August, 2007 |
Surrey 280-8 beat Glamorgan 227 by 53 runs
A Bank Holiday bender at The Oval with my cricketing companion, the Glamorous Girly Friend.
'It's been a strange summer,' remarked the GGF as we stocked up on our booze outside The Oval.
Stick around for eight cans later, Girl, and I can guarantee it will get even stranger.
 Mr Ramps is on fine form |
Down boy!
The dog was on heat (Kenny, not the GGF) and so I made some inappropriate comment about 'grown men with no sense of dignity,' and then sat down to make a fool of myself getting sozzled in the sun.
The first over was already underway and so I reminded the GGF of her cricketing etiquette: wait until the end of the over before taking up your seat. Not exactly setting an example to South London Yoof were a couple of coffin dodgers, walking right behind the bowler's arm during play. They were probably late for their own funeral and so I let the matter pass.
'World Cup star' *cough* David Hemp lost the toss for Glamorgan, and the Bermudan international set out his field as captain Ramps instructed his Surrey side to take a knock first.
James Benn-ing and Scott Newman managed to take Surrey to 99-2, and then new boy Richard Clinton lost his wicket for 10. Like his namesake Bill, Clinton's exit from centre stage was dignified, but with a whiff of controversy, if not cigar smoke.
Read my lips: 'Mr Ramps is on fine form.' A six out of the ground towards the old Cricketers pub led umpire Willey to hold a new ball in his hand. Where's Michael Holding when you need him?
But Mr Ramps became cocky and went for 27. Glamorgan dangled the bait and the Surrey batsmen took a nibble. Meanwhile the bloke sitting in front of me took a mouthful of jellied eels. It was too much for me to stomach - and for Ally Brown who went for 56 with Surrey on 224-5.
The Bermudan World Cup star took Jonathan Batty's wicket for four, and guess who's back? Yep - time for The Turbanator, Surrey Harbhajan Singh. Chris Schofield slogged for 51, not being able to stay the pace with the Turbanator who joined Mr Ramps with a hit out of the ground towards the Harleyford Road.
Matthew Nicholson was eventually run out as Surrey finished on a fine 280-8. The GGF and I were also on fine form, so much so that she sent me out to Threshers along Kennington Road during the break for some more booze.
I passed Kenny Kennington, who had his tail between his legs, looking a little worried after the earlier lycra incident. I didn't want to give the dog a bone (Kenny, not the GGF) and so I slipped out through the back entrance on the beer run.
Little else remains of the match to be honest. The scorecard shows that Surrey won, and I seem to remember James Benn-ing playing a game of Simon Said with the kids queuing up to get his autograph in the outfield. Oh - and eight cans of Stella, and still change from a ten pound note, proves that the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
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technorati: surrey county cricket club
| #permalink |
Crap Match Report
Dulwich Hamlet 0 Worthing 2, 25/08/07
Tighten your belts times down at Dulwich. We're not worthy as Worthing came to Champion Hill and showed the home side how to dominate a first half of football.
But for belts, read braces. I counted four pairs being proudly paraded around pitch side. Add the waist coat count of two, and I had to check my ticket to make sure I wasn't at a Chas and Dave convention.
Fitting that the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger was sitting next to me - Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit etc...
But Oh darling, there 'aint no pleasing you... or the pink 'n blue home crowd. 0-0 at half time, and that was with the full belts and braces defensive treatment from Dulwich. To say Worthing were unlucky is like saying that braces are back in fashion. Which apparently they are.
Rock on, Tommy!
A read through of the team changes at half time by the Voice of Champion Hill revealed that 'Worthing's number 4 has swapped with Worthing's number 5.' What is this? South London non-league Swap Shop? Either way, the Worthing number four wasn't exactly troubled in the first 45 minutes, and neither was the Worthing number 5.
It wasn't the best start to the Bank Holiday weekend. In an attempt to relieve the boredom, I put on my headphones, just in time to hear that 'Stockport have equalised against Rotherham!'
Now I'm no fan of Northern clog football, but compared to the Chas and Dave comatose-fest at Champion Hill, I made a mental notes to go whippet racing next weekend.
A kid wearing a Real Madrid away kit sitting in front of me headed off for the toilet.
'Don't go,' chirped his little mate. 'You may miss a goal.'
Given the kid's choice of kit, I was rather hoping that he would miss a goal, but there was more chance of me becoming a braces boy.
But the wee fella was back in his seat in the 78th minute, bang on cue to see Worthing take the lead. A brace with five minutes remaining from Worthing and the season ahead for Dulwich looked about appealing as a Chas and Dave convention.
Without Chas.
Or Dave.
Gertcha.
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| Sunday 26 August, 2007 |
Dulwich Hamlet 0 Worthing 2, 25/08/07
Tighten your belts times down at Dulwich. We're not worthy as Worthing came to Champion Hill and showed the home side how to dominate a first half of football.
Rock on, Tommy! |
Fitting that the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger was sitting next to me - Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit etc...
But Oh darling, there 'aint no pleasing you... or the pink 'n blue home crowd. 0-0 at half time, and that was with the full belts and braces defensive treatment from Dulwich. To say Worthing were unlucky is like saying that braces are back in fashion. Which apparently they are.
Rock on, Tommy!
A read through of the team changes at half time by the Voice of Champion Hill revealed that 'Worthing's number 4 has swapped with Worthing's number 5.' What is this? South London non-league Swap Shop? Either way, the Worthing number four wasn't exactly troubled in the first 45 minutes, and neither was the Worthing number 5.
It wasn't the best start to the Bank Holiday weekend. In an attempt to relieve the boredom, I put on my headphones, just in time to hear that 'Stockport have equalised against Rotherham!'
Now I'm no fan of Northern clog football, but compared to the Chas and Dave comatose-fest at Champion Hill, I made a mental notes to go whippet racing next weekend.
A kid wearing a Real Madrid away kit sitting in front of me headed off for the toilet.
'Don't go,' chirped his little mate. 'You may miss a goal.'
Given the kid's choice of kit, I was rather hoping that he would miss a goal, but there was more chance of me becoming a braces boy.
But the wee fella was back in his seat in the 78th minute, bang on cue to see Worthing take the lead. A brace with five minutes remaining from Worthing and the season ahead for Dulwich looked about appealing as a Chas and Dave convention.
Without Chas.
Or Dave.
Gertcha.
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technorati: dulwich hamlet
| #permalink |
Gulp Fiction
'Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!'
I wonder if the blue rinse coffin dodger working at the Christ Church charity shop, Brixton Road, actually had the viewing pleasure of the Pulp Fiction video before she sold it to me for 50p this morning?
If you wanted to re-enact the Pulp Fiction profanities, South London style, you could have done a lot worse than a casual perusal around the Pet's Pantry shop next door.
'And if you don't fakin pay yer fakin bills by next fakin week, you can take you fakin budgerigar and stick it up yer fakin arse.'
Blimey - I hope the parrot in the pet shop was paying attention to all of this.
Have a good one.
technorati: profanities
| Friday 24 August, 2007 |
'Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!'
I wonder if the blue rinse coffin dodger working at the Christ Church charity shop, Brixton Road, actually had the viewing pleasure of the Pulp Fiction video before she sold it to me for 50p this morning?
If you wanted to re-enact the Pulp Fiction profanities, South London style, you could have done a lot worse than a casual perusal around the Pet's Pantry shop next door.
'And if you don't fakin pay yer fakin bills by next fakin week, you can take you fakin budgerigar and stick it up yer fakin arse.'
Blimey - I hope the parrot in the pet shop was paying attention to all of this.
Have a good one.
technorati: profanities
| #permalink |
Building Bridges
Another rain sodden South London Thursday night, another meeting of the Brixton Rec Users Forum. You can't accuse me of not living the high life.
The story so far, if you are playing catch up (which indeed the builders at Brixton Rec currently are...)
New 'preferred private leisure partner' Greenwich (yeah, I know...) Leisure Limited was awarded the contract to manage leisure on behalf of the Lambeth Council knobbers. No other 'preferred private partner' was forthcoming.
Brixton Rec then promptly locked its doors for three months for a period of 'exciting refurbishment.' The doors re-opened a little longer than three months later, and the Rec resembled a building site.
But we did have a nice shiny membership office open for business, in place of the old lovely community run cafe. Shame there are so few facilities to actually participate in, once the preferred private leisure partner has put you on direct debit.
And so a month after re-opening, the Rec management met the users to discuss the 'exciting refurbishment.' I made sure that I spent the previous hour sweating my arse off in the old gym (on the few machines that still work,) specifically to demonstrate the point that an absence of working showers doesn't make for a very sociable experience.
'Hello! I'm onionbagblogger! Let me give you a big man hug, you poncey preferred private leisure partner, you!'
GLL Regional Manager Matthew Boardman declined the offer, as did his sidekick, Gary, the GLL Brixton Rec Manager. The Lambeth knobbers sent along some poor staff member as their flag waver, rather than an elected and accountable politician.
'Brixton Rec WILL re-open on July 1st!' exclaimed an excitable Councilor Lib Peck, the cabinet member for Environment and Culture at the Brixton Area Forum on the 29th March. With no sign of the good Councilor on Thursday night, one can only presume that she got her diary dates wrong. Again.
And so what of the meeting? It was a rather sedate affair to be honest. The Brixton boys and girls that gave so much fighting spirit and soul to the Rec have long since been alienated.
The free weights room is mysteriously an area of leisure that GLL refuse to invest in, for reasons that 'are higher above than me,' explained the not very helpful Regional Manager.
With the demographic for the free weights room made of big, bulky Brixton types, there was something of a sinister overtone as to why the core of the community have not been included in the new refurbishment of the Rec.
The Rec was built back in the early '80s in the aftermath of the Scarman Report to keep South London Yoof off the streets. The indoor bowling green at Brixton Rec was never that popular with South London Yoof; the free weights room was.
South London Yoof has had a few problems this summer.
The rest of the evening was taken up matching diary dates between the GLL Suits and the Rec users.
'When will the gym be finished?'
'Um, did I say October? Um... November, Yes - we're hopeful of November, but maybe December. Look - let's get a schedule sorted out here and now.'
Bit late for that now, 'guv. the good Councilor Peck promised us 1st July.
'Will the saunas be mixed, despite repeated pleas by some users along religious grounds?'
'The saunas will, um, won't, um, Gary - help me out on this one...'
Gary was unable to help out his paymaster on this one.
And then we got down to the dirty business of the showers.
'Re-opening a sports centre with no showers was a little silly,' noted a rather smelly South London blogger.
'Ah, you may say that...' said the Suit.
'I AM SAYING THAT' said the smelly South London blogger. 'What went wrong?'
'We're confident that we won't have any more surprises.'
The poor Lambethstooge, staff member then let slip that Clap'ham Pool, also managed by GLL, is going to close for a 'refurbishment.' But remember, less is more in the backwards land of Lambeth leisure. The much prized 33 metre pool is going to have eight metres filled in.
'It's the latest in pool designs,' we were told.
Like the trust of the Council, once it's lost, it's lost forever. Where is the logic in 'improving' a leisure facility by taking a portion away?
Only in Lambeth...
Why should any of this matter? Simple: as the elected local authority, the New Labour Lambeth knobbers need to provide leisure facilities for the local community. But like most council services across the country nowadays, the market rules.
The Lambeth knobbers have washed their hands of leisure and put in place a preferred private contractor.
'Not under our management,' is the noise coming out of Lambeth Town Hall.
'Not our legislative responsibility,' replies the private contractor.
'Who is accountable then?' asked the Brixton Rec Users on Thursday night.
You could hear a pin drop (if it wasn't for the sound of the extra overtime builders still banging away on the Brixton Rec building site.)
technorati: brixton rec
| Friday 24 August, 2007 |
Another rain sodden South London Thursday night, another meeting of the Brixton Rec Users Forum. You can't accuse me of not living the high life.
The story so far, if you are playing catch up (which indeed the builders at Brixton Rec currently are...)
Only in Lambeth... |
Brixton Rec then promptly locked its doors for three months for a period of 'exciting refurbishment.' The doors re-opened a little longer than three months later, and the Rec resembled a building site.
But we did have a nice shiny membership office open for business, in place of the old lovely community run cafe. Shame there are so few facilities to actually participate in, once the preferred private leisure partner has put you on direct debit.
And so a month after re-opening, the Rec management met the users to discuss the 'exciting refurbishment.' I made sure that I spent the previous hour sweating my arse off in the old gym (on the few machines that still work,) specifically to demonstrate the point that an absence of working showers doesn't make for a very sociable experience.
'Hello! I'm onionbagblogger! Let me give you a big man hug, you poncey preferred private leisure partner, you!'
GLL Regional Manager Matthew Boardman declined the offer, as did his sidekick, Gary, the GLL Brixton Rec Manager. The Lambeth knobbers sent along some poor staff member as their flag waver, rather than an elected and accountable politician.
'Brixton Rec WILL re-open on July 1st!' exclaimed an excitable Councilor Lib Peck, the cabinet member for Environment and Culture at the Brixton Area Forum on the 29th March. With no sign of the good Councilor on Thursday night, one can only presume that she got her diary dates wrong. Again.
And so what of the meeting? It was a rather sedate affair to be honest. The Brixton boys and girls that gave so much fighting spirit and soul to the Rec have long since been alienated.
The free weights room is mysteriously an area of leisure that GLL refuse to invest in, for reasons that 'are higher above than me,' explained the not very helpful Regional Manager.
With the demographic for the free weights room made of big, bulky Brixton types, there was something of a sinister overtone as to why the core of the community have not been included in the new refurbishment of the Rec.
The Rec was built back in the early '80s in the aftermath of the Scarman Report to keep South London Yoof off the streets. The indoor bowling green at Brixton Rec was never that popular with South London Yoof; the free weights room was.
South London Yoof has had a few problems this summer.
The rest of the evening was taken up matching diary dates between the GLL Suits and the Rec users.
'When will the gym be finished?'
'Um, did I say October? Um... November, Yes - we're hopeful of November, but maybe December. Look - let's get a schedule sorted out here and now.'
Bit late for that now, 'guv. the good Councilor Peck promised us 1st July.
'Will the saunas be mixed, despite repeated pleas by some users along religious grounds?'
'The saunas will, um, won't, um, Gary - help me out on this one...'
Gary was unable to help out his paymaster on this one.
And then we got down to the dirty business of the showers.
'Re-opening a sports centre with no showers was a little silly,' noted a rather smelly South London blogger.
'Ah, you may say that...' said the Suit.
'I AM SAYING THAT' said the smelly South London blogger. 'What went wrong?'
'We're confident that we won't have any more surprises.'
The poor Lambeth
'It's the latest in pool designs,' we were told.
Like the trust of the Council, once it's lost, it's lost forever. Where is the logic in 'improving' a leisure facility by taking a portion away?
Only in Lambeth...
Why should any of this matter? Simple: as the elected local authority, the New Labour Lambeth knobbers need to provide leisure facilities for the local community. But like most council services across the country nowadays, the market rules.
The Lambeth knobbers have washed their hands of leisure and put in place a preferred private contractor.
'Not under our management,' is the noise coming out of Lambeth Town Hall.
'Not our legislative responsibility,' replies the private contractor.
'Who is accountable then?' asked the Brixton Rec Users on Thursday night.
You could hear a pin drop (if it wasn't for the sound of the extra overtime builders still banging away on the Brixton Rec building site.)
technorati: brixton rec
| #permalink |
Crap Match Report
Dulwich Hamlet 1 Horsham YMCA 0, 21/08/07
In celebration of the musical genius of Prince Rogers Nelson gracing his presence in South London (oh yes!) this summer, I thought South London's finest football team needed a new soundtrack to start the season off with.
And so with the Hamlet having their first home game of the season against the glamour boys of Horsham YMCA, I decided to watch the game with the wonderful Purple Rain soundtrack on my iPod.
It made a change from the usual 'C'mon Dulwich!' being bellowed out from behind me every time the home team had a throw in.
The pink 'n blue boys meet the Purple One - a colour co-ordination scheme that at least keeps in the same style as the interior of the toilets of the latest ghastly gastropub along Lordship Lane.
Side 1 First Half
Let's Go Crazy
'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called... Horsham YMCA.'
'...all excited, but we don't know why.'
I'm not sure where Prince's confusion comes from, but I was most certainly all excited over the new bus stop style dug outs (Conference standard, natch,) not to mention the BBQ tables by the old tea hut. I'd wager it's not the first time that some of the pink 'n blue boys have been associated with a spit roast, either.
Take Me With U
A song all about the optimism of new companionship, shared dreams and a slightly erotic undertone running throughout.
Bugger - the Horsham centre back is going to play us offside all evening.
The Beautiful Ones
Here's where the true seediness of Prince starts to de-flower. The first of a trilogy of songs that brings side one of the soundtrack to a right royal climax. I was shooting my load halfway through. Nothing to do with the Artist, but Daniel Day (Morris' South London cousin) scoring for Dulwich.
Computer Blue
'Wendy,
Yes Lisa...
Is the water warm enough?
Yes Lisa...
Shall we begin?
Yes Lisa...'
That's the hot water at Champion Hill sorted, should any players be taking an early bath. But it was quite a clean game, even with Darling Nikki up next.
Darling Nikki
High pomp and pouting from the purple one. A song about meeting 'masturbating girls in a lobby,' who have 'every device that money can buy.' I hear you, little fella, but to be honest, watching the Hamlet at home does the job for me. And you can stick yer over-priced purple sexual aids - my season ticket coming in at slightly over one hundred notes suits me just fine.
Side 2 Second Half
When Doves Cry
The piercing sound of the guitar intro reverberated around my ears as the referee blew his piercing whistle at the start of the second half. A song with no rhythm guitar for a team still yet to find any rhythm. When Doves Cry is a metaphor for the pain of personal sadness. The South London equivalent was the two pigeons having a hump in the stand above my head.
I Would Die 4 U
The shortest song on the soundtrack, and Dulwich were short-changed by the ref. I wouldn't go as far as saying that I Would Die 4 the pink 'n blue cause, but I Would Die 4 one of the old Champion Hill dug outs, now doubling up as goals for the kids playing football at the back of the stand.
'I've bought you a present, my dear. It will look lovely in the garden.'
Looks like I'm gonna die at the hands of the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger.
Baby I'm a Star
aka the ode to the new Dulwich 'keeper, ladies and gentleman I give you... Chuck Martini! (True!) He may sound like a waste of a bad drink, but Mr Martini fancies himself as a bit of a star between the posts. A fine save during the middle eight horn break, and who can argue?
Purple Rain
The epic end to the album, played out during an unremarkable nine minute passage of play.
'When we get it up, we've got to make the most of it...' a line shouted out in SE22, but it could quite easily sit on the soundtrack of a genre-fusing funk meets mid 80's American guitar rock.
The Dulwich bench got the first 'fuck!' in, long before Prince. Not a dry eye in the house.
Next week: Dulwich Vs Worthing to the soundtrack of Lou Reed's Berlin.
technorati: dulwich hamlet
| Wednesday 23 August, 2007 |
Dulwich Hamlet 1 Horsham YMCA 0, 21/08/07
In celebration of the musical genius of Prince Rogers Nelson gracing his presence in South London (oh yes!) this summer, I thought South London's finest football team needed a new soundtrack to start the season off with.
And so with the Hamlet having their first home game of the season against the glamour boys of Horsham YMCA, I decided to watch the game with the wonderful Purple Rain soundtrack on my iPod.
It made a change from the usual 'C'mon Dulwich!' being bellowed out from behind me every time the home team had a throw in.
The pink 'n blue boys meet the Purple One - a colour co-ordination scheme that at least keeps in the same style as the interior of the toilets of the latest ghastly gastropub along Lordship Lane.
Let's Go Crazy
'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called... Horsham YMCA.'
'...all excited, but we don't know why.'
I'm not sure where Prince's confusion comes from, but I was most certainly all excited over the new bus stop style dug outs (Conference standard, natch,) not to mention the BBQ tables by the old tea hut. I'd wager it's not the first time that some of the pink 'n blue boys have been associated with a spit roast, either.
Take Me With U
A song all about the optimism of new companionship, shared dreams and a slightly erotic undertone running throughout.
Bugger - the Horsham centre back is going to play us offside all evening.
The Beautiful Ones
Here's where the true seediness of Prince starts to de-flower. The first of a trilogy of songs that brings side one of the soundtrack to a right royal climax. I was shooting my load halfway through. Nothing to do with the Artist, but Daniel Day (Morris' South London cousin) scoring for Dulwich.
Computer Blue
'Wendy,
Yes Lisa...
Is the water warm enough?
Yes Lisa...
Shall we begin?
Yes Lisa...'
That's the hot water at Champion Hill sorted, should any players be taking an early bath. But it was quite a clean game, even with Darling Nikki up next.
Darling Nikki
High pomp and pouting from the purple one. A song about meeting 'masturbating girls in a lobby,' who have 'every device that money can buy.' I hear you, little fella, but to be honest, watching the Hamlet at home does the job for me. And you can stick yer over-priced purple sexual aids - my season ticket coming in at slightly over one hundred notes suits me just fine.
When Doves Cry
The piercing sound of the guitar intro reverberated around my ears as the referee blew his piercing whistle at the start of the second half. A song with no rhythm guitar for a team still yet to find any rhythm. When Doves Cry is a metaphor for the pain of personal sadness. The South London equivalent was the two pigeons having a hump in the stand above my head.
I Would Die 4 U
The shortest song on the soundtrack, and Dulwich were short-changed by the ref. I wouldn't go as far as saying that I Would Die 4 the pink 'n blue cause, but I Would Die 4 one of the old Champion Hill dug outs, now doubling up as goals for the kids playing football at the back of the stand.
'I've bought you a present, my dear. It will look lovely in the garden.'
Looks like I'm gonna die at the hands of the fragrant mrs onionbagblogger.
Baby I'm a Star
aka the ode to the new Dulwich 'keeper, ladies and gentleman I give you... Chuck Martini! (True!) He may sound like a waste of a bad drink, but Mr Martini fancies himself as a bit of a star between the posts. A fine save during the middle eight horn break, and who can argue?
Purple Rain
The epic end to the album, played out during an unremarkable nine minute passage of play.
'When we get it up, we've got to make the most of it...' a line shouted out in SE22, but it could quite easily sit on the soundtrack of a genre-fusing funk meets mid 80's American guitar rock.
The Dulwich bench got the first 'fuck!' in, long before Prince. Not a dry eye in the house.
Next week: Dulwich Vs Worthing to the soundtrack of Lou Reed's Berlin.
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technorati: dulwich hamlet
| #permalink |
