onionbagblog
Leafy Streatham Suburbs
I've just been informed that a third challenge match has been arranged for the Streatham Redskins before the end of the season – Hurrahhhhh!
And it’s a bit of a biggie...
On Sunday 17 April Redskins will proudly host the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes, that's THE Toronto Maple Leafs!!!!
The NHL team are on a short training camp tour around Europe ahead of the play-offs and have requested opposition to be lined up that will provide a variety of challenges. Apparently the coaching staff had heard good things about the fitness levels of the Redskins players and are using the game to try out some new lines.
There is also an historical link as the Maple Leafs played back in the old barn in September 1934 and were the first foreign team that the Redskins ever faced.
Because demand for this game is likely to be high, prices have been set at £50 seats, £35 standing. Might sound steep but to see a genuine NHL side up close for that amount still represents great value for money. Tickets will go on sale from the rink as of today, April 1. Cash only - the Maple Leafs tour is being funded by game night receipts.
Supporters have been asked not to carry out the traditional banging on the plexi on game night as it is not exactly NHL hockey etiquette.
Let's play hockey!
| Thursday 1 April, 2004 |
I've just been informed that a third challenge match has been arranged for the Streatham Redskins before the end of the season – Hurrahhhhh!
And it’s a bit of a biggie...
On Sunday 17 April Redskins will proudly host the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes, that's THE Toronto Maple Leafs!!!!
The NHL team are on a short training camp tour around Europe ahead of the play-offs and have requested opposition to be lined up that will provide a variety of challenges. Apparently the coaching staff had heard good things about the fitness levels of the Redskins players and are using the game to try out some new lines.
There is also an historical link as the Maple Leafs played back in the old barn in September 1934 and were the first foreign team that the Redskins ever faced.
Because demand for this game is likely to be high, prices have been set at £50 seats, £35 standing. Might sound steep but to see a genuine NHL side up close for that amount still represents great value for money. Tickets will go on sale from the rink as of today, April 1. Cash only - the Maple Leafs tour is being funded by game night receipts.
Supporters have been asked not to carry out the traditional banging on the plexi on game night as it is not exactly NHL hockey etiquette.
Let's play hockey!
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Jock Swap
An amusing day for fans of Scottish football. Nope, not Forfar 5, East Fife 4; not even McBerti giving a garbled press conference. Just an average day of ground swapping with more reckless abandon than the partner swapping taking place in the fearful Footballers' Wives.
I gave up ground hopping sometime around 1994 when I realised that there wasn't really any great grass roots romance in seeing your newly relegated team turn out a turd of a 0-0 draw away at Barnsley. We're Shit, And We Know We Are wasn't doing the rounds back then on account of the Pet Shop Boys still being rather good and not resorting to releasing crap Village People covers. Hence my fellow Trent Enders and I just booed rather loudly and told the lard arse Neil Webb to piss off.
If I was a fan of Scottish football however I might just be tempted out of ground hopping retirement.
Deep breath...
Hearts have been given the go-ahead to play at Murrayfield, the traditional home of egg chasing Jocks, and Princess Anne when she can find the time to break away from allowing her bull terriers to bite any non blue-blooded subjects of the crown.
Dundee are going to make the shortest geographical trip in any British two team football city and play out of United's Tannadice stadium. That’s DUNDEE United by the way, not Manchester. Both teams are managed by whingeing Sweaties though.
Clyde are pushing for promotion and if they reach the top division of Scottish football (probably on par with the Rymans Premier), the Clydesiders can play at Kilmarnock's Rugby Park ground. Makes sense of course, naming your ground after a totally different and inferior sport.
Likewise, promotion pending, Falkirk will be doing the business down at Dunfermline's East End Park.
Sales of Scottish A-Zs must be soaring.
Why is all this blatant franchise shifting happening? Money of course. The current state of Scottish football makes Leeds United look like a model for financial prudence.
And to think that I was almost inconsolable when my beloved London Racers ice hockey team announced overnight that the franchise was moving across town from Ally Pally to the lacklustre Lee Valley.
| Wednesday 30 March, 2004 |
An amusing day for fans of Scottish football. Nope, not Forfar 5, East Fife 4; not even McBerti giving a garbled press conference. Just an average day of ground swapping with more reckless abandon than the partner swapping taking place in the fearful Footballers' Wives.
I gave up ground hopping sometime around 1994 when I realised that there wasn't really any great grass roots romance in seeing your newly relegated team turn out a turd of a 0-0 draw away at Barnsley. We're Shit, And We Know We Are wasn't doing the rounds back then on account of the Pet Shop Boys still being rather good and not resorting to releasing crap Village People covers. Hence my fellow Trent Enders and I just booed rather loudly and told the lard arse Neil Webb to piss off.
 Both teams are managed by whingeing Sweaties |
Deep breath...
Hearts have been given the go-ahead to play at Murrayfield, the traditional home of egg chasing Jocks, and Princess Anne when she can find the time to break away from allowing her bull terriers to bite any non blue-blooded subjects of the crown.
Dundee are going to make the shortest geographical trip in any British two team football city and play out of United's Tannadice stadium. That’s DUNDEE United by the way, not Manchester. Both teams are managed by whingeing Sweaties though.
Clyde are pushing for promotion and if they reach the top division of Scottish football (probably on par with the Rymans Premier), the Clydesiders can play at Kilmarnock's Rugby Park ground. Makes sense of course, naming your ground after a totally different and inferior sport.
Likewise, promotion pending, Falkirk will be doing the business down at Dunfermline's East End Park.
Sales of Scottish A-Zs must be soaring.
Why is all this blatant franchise shifting happening? Money of course. The current state of Scottish football makes Leeds United look like a model for financial prudence.
And to think that I was almost inconsolable when my beloved London Racers ice hockey team announced overnight that the franchise was moving across town from Ally Pally to the lacklustre Lee Valley.
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Long Hot Summer
With the long summer months just around the corner it is looking increasingly unlikely that Brockwell Lido will be open this year. Fusion, the management company whose bid was successful to run the South London Olympic size pool for the next twenty five years, is no nearer to undertaking the promised building work that was central to the awarding of the lease from Lambeth Council over twelve months ago.
Officially the lease was handed over to Fusion in September 2003 when the gates were closed for the final time under the magnificent management of Paddy and Casey, who have been running the Lido for the past nine years after it fell into a state of disrepair.
Time was always going to be an issue if the Lido was going to undertake the required building maintenance that was guaranteed in Fusion's bid. Modernisation of the changing rooms is required for health and safety purposes. Fusion's proposal is to extend the wall along the side of the main entrance of the listed building to the perimeter of the park.
This planning application has yet to be submitted.
The consultation process was rigorous and detailed with the intention to prevent exactly this kind of situation occurring. Brockwell Lido Users Group, a steering committee and general users of the Lido were all given assurances by Fusion that their project would be on time and on budget.
Paddy and Casey are willing to open up the Lido themselves again for one final fling this summer until Fusion can get their act together. However the shower area still needs significant repairs estimated at around £30,000 for the pool to open.
Given the reluctance of Lambeth Council to invest in the Lido in the past, it is looking like the gates will remained locked over the coming summer months. This still hasn't stopped the local authority from proudly displaying a picture of the Lido on their own official website as one of the 'Lambeth landmarks' that appears as a series of rotating images.
As an alternative there is always Tooting Lido but the Wandsworth run pool just doesn't have the same ambience of South London’s favourite outdoor Lido. Much of the appeal of Brixton Beach has been the style and manner in which Paddy and Casey have managed the facility and Fusion would do well to look and learn.
Last year the Lido was blessed with a glorious run of five months of near perfect weather. With Easter falling late, Lido lovers were given the opportunity for the their first dip of the season on Good Friday, with the pool remaining open right up until late September.
Looks like being a long, hot and bothered summer ahead this year.
| Tuesday 30 March, 2004 |
With the long summer months just around the corner it is looking increasingly unlikely that Brockwell Lido will be open this year. Fusion, the management company whose bid was successful to run the South London Olympic size pool for the next twenty five years, is no nearer to undertaking the promised building work that was central to the awarding of the lease from Lambeth Council over twelve months ago.
Officially the lease was handed over to Fusion in September 2003 when the gates were closed for the final time under the magnificent management of Paddy and Casey, who have been running the Lido for the past nine years after it fell into a state of disrepair.
The planning application has yet to be submitted |
This planning application has yet to be submitted.
The consultation process was rigorous and detailed with the intention to prevent exactly this kind of situation occurring. Brockwell Lido Users Group, a steering committee and general users of the Lido were all given assurances by Fusion that their project would be on time and on budget.
Paddy and Casey are willing to open up the Lido themselves again for one final fling this summer until Fusion can get their act together. However the shower area still needs significant repairs estimated at around £30,000 for the pool to open.
Given the reluctance of Lambeth Council to invest in the Lido in the past, it is looking like the gates will remained locked over the coming summer months. This still hasn't stopped the local authority from proudly displaying a picture of the Lido on their own official website as one of the 'Lambeth landmarks' that appears as a series of rotating images.
As an alternative there is always Tooting Lido but the Wandsworth run pool just doesn't have the same ambience of South London’s favourite outdoor Lido. Much of the appeal of Brixton Beach has been the style and manner in which Paddy and Casey have managed the facility and Fusion would do well to look and learn.
Last year the Lido was blessed with a glorious run of five months of near perfect weather. With Easter falling late, Lido lovers were given the opportunity for the their first dip of the season on Good Friday, with the pool remaining open right up until late September.
Looks like being a long, hot and bothered summer ahead this year.
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SW8 Stockwell Sunset, BST
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the Lido,
Here comes the cricket,
Here comes The Globe,
Here comes Glasto.
Why am I still freezing my bollocks off in bed then?
| Monday 29 March, 2004 |
Here comes the sun,
Here comes the Lido,
Here comes the cricket,
Here comes The Globe,
Here comes Glasto.
Why am I still freezing my bollocks off in bed then?
| #permalink |
Mondays Musings
Iron Maiden - No More Lies
Good, honest, truthful dull as ditchwater English rock bands never lie. They leave this immoral behaviour to souless hangers on who somehow manage to blag a very nice, although personally pointless, Iron Maiden Best Of Box Set out of EMI circa '97, and then despite the odd missing CD here and there (always a prime component of any CD collection), swindle some poor Johnny Foreigner over in Belgium ('zee crazy world of rock and roll') out of the best part of 500 quid with a pork pie gobbling somewhat economical with the truth ebay blurb. Do I feel the shame? Do I fuck.
Lulu - Keep Talkin', I'm Listening
Notice how the Jock Dwarf has dropped the 'g' from Talking in a ludicrous attempt to somehow make a menopausing midget appear popular to the Playstation generation? The Christian calendar can now be constructed around the release (and believe me this is one hell of a turd) of crap comeback songs from coffin dodgers who really should be playing scrabble in some home with their fellow bus pass permit pensioners; Sir Cliff's cocksucking Christmas cringe of an anthem always heralds in the Festive season; likewise you can time the arrival of Easter and the subsequent execrable Eurovision whenever Lulu opens her gob and graces us with a tonsil throttler that sounds like she has been garbling with a packet of twenty Marlboro before breakfast. Which the old bint probably has. The cover for this single wouldn't look out of place in a phone box alongside the Whip Me, Spank Me, Tease Me slapper cards. Keep Talkin', I'm Listening - genuine picture - 0898 etc...
Basement Jaxx - Plug It In
The sound of urban Britain 2004; culture mashing, genre bending, pill popping messy weekends etc. All of course may be true, but also all made by two white middle class males who could do with a damn good wash 'n brush up. At least they keep it real though with more than just a tokenistic use of new talent. Not sure where or even how Siouxsie fits into all of this. Whatever next Wayne Hussey Vs the Jaxx? Miranda Sex Garden? Fields of the Neph?
All singles are released today.
WHY DON'T YOU... piss all over the instantly forgettable marketing masquerading as music as mentioned above and go and DOWNLOAD something much more memorable instead?
Mass Mondays Musings
| Monday 29 March, 2004 |
Iron Maiden - No More Lies
Good, honest, truthful dull as ditchwater English rock bands never lie. They leave this immoral behaviour to souless hangers on who somehow manage to blag a very nice, although personally pointless, Iron Maiden Best Of Box Set out of EMI circa '97, and then despite the odd missing CD here and there (always a prime component of any CD collection), swindle some poor Johnny Foreigner over in Belgium ('zee crazy world of rock and roll') out of the best part of 500 quid with a pork pie gobbling somewhat economical with the truth ebay blurb. Do I feel the shame? Do I fuck.
Lulu - Keep Talkin', I'm Listening
Notice how the Jock Dwarf has dropped the 'g' from Talking in a ludicrous attempt to somehow make a menopausing midget appear popular to the Playstation generation? The Christian calendar can now be constructed around the release (and believe me this is one hell of a turd) of crap comeback songs from coffin dodgers who really should be playing scrabble in some home with their fellow bus pass permit pensioners; Sir Cliff's cocksucking Christmas cringe of an anthem always heralds in the Festive season; likewise you can time the arrival of Easter and the subsequent execrable Eurovision whenever Lulu opens her gob and graces us with a tonsil throttler that sounds like she has been garbling with a packet of twenty Marlboro before breakfast. Which the old bint probably has. The cover for this single wouldn't look out of place in a phone box alongside the Whip Me, Spank Me, Tease Me slapper cards. Keep Talkin', I'm Listening - genuine picture - 0898 etc...
Basement Jaxx - Plug It In
The sound of urban Britain 2004; culture mashing, genre bending, pill popping messy weekends etc. All of course may be true, but also all made by two white middle class males who could do with a damn good wash 'n brush up. At least they keep it real though with more than just a tokenistic use of new talent. Not sure where or even how Siouxsie fits into all of this. Whatever next Wayne Hussey Vs the Jaxx? Miranda Sex Garden? Fields of the Neph?
All singles are released today.
WHY DON'T YOU... piss all over the instantly forgettable marketing masquerading as music as mentioned above and go and DOWNLOAD something much more memorable instead?
Mass Mondays Musings
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Tamara Pinklebottom's Football Results
Welcome to the Classified Football Results read by Tamara Pinklebottom and aided by her sister Fanny. Tamara is a lifelong Gunners supporter and enjoys nothing better than taking Fanny up the Arse on a Saturday afternoon.
Warning: Not exactly office friendly
| Sunday 28 March, 2004 |
Welcome to the Classified Football Results read by Tamara Pinklebottom and aided by her sister Fanny. Tamara is a lifelong Gunners supporter and enjoys nothing better than taking Fanny up the Arse on a Saturday afternoon.
Warning: Not exactly office friendly
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Crap Match Report
London Towers 87 Milton Keynes Lions 79, 27/03/04
Another Saturday night, another packed house at the Crystal Palace dive. That will be the Mad as a Wet Hen spine bending youth then leaping twenty foot from the diving board in the pool below. I pondered some pics of the belly flopping boys but it didn’t seem appropriate having snaps of barely legal teenagers in swimwear. The Towers Dancers however are a different matter. If there's grass in the outfield etc, play ball. Mmmmmm.
It's no surprise that the Towers unbeaten home form in 2004 has coincided with the Dancers own fine form on the court. Who could fail to be inspired by a dozen or so hoop honeyz panting, pelvis pushing and p-teasing in-between play? My my, those basketball shorts sure are baggy, which is a good job as I'm some of the players must be playing at full mast. No need to ask as to why I need to remain seated throughout a game.
With a play-off place already guaranteed, Towers were playing to hold on to home court advantage ahead of the end of season finale. It was good to see Ronnie Baker back on court for a full thirty minutes. Shame it was only for the warm-up. When England's most capped player is reduced to the role of benchwarmer then it shows the level of confidence and skill surrounding the Towers right now.
Another returning favourite was Towlie, the most virile youth in UK basketball. Who else could charm the crowds at halftime shooting his load from the halfway line with ease? Good work fella and we hope to see you in a Towers jersey soon.
Baskets were exchanged during a workmanlike opening quarter with the most spectacular sight being ex-Tower John O'Connell's latest lighthouse look masquerading as a haircut. The home team trailed 18-19 come the short break.
Towers were finding it hard to find their feet. Shame that Lions point guard Sherman Rivers (I'm not making this up) managed to find his voice. A WHOOP here, a SQUEAL there and a CHAMON you Badass Mutha every time he wanted the ball. Towers took a 46-33 lead into the halftime break without truly breaking sweat.
A quick burst from the Lions at the start of the third brought the score back to 50-49 and the home team were in need of some inspiration. Cometh the hour, cometh the leg flashing lovelies. Unfortunately Neil the DJ managed to mess up the music leaving the girls stranded centre court strutting their stuff in silence. Even without the bump and grind I was still in a state of excitement where it was socially unacceptable for me to stand up and proudly display my own current state of play.
'Towers Dancers I owe you a BIG kiss' declared Neil.
Not sure who is the luckiest here.
'I promise I won't mess this up,' said the man with the mic. Towers coach Robbie Peers was no doubt thinking the same as his team were in danger of a fourth quarter collapse.
A poor finish from both teams prevented either side pulling away. With play like this, Towers will be punished come the play-offs. Trailing 70-74 at one stage, it was left to the ever reliant Omar Sneed to power Towers home with a late quarter burst.
Highlight: My cover being blown and being chatted up by the Towers Dancers. Well, I was the one doing all the chatting as they looked up for a familiar face with a thought bubble saying:
'HELP! Scary man with a goatee... And why won't he stand up whilst he is talking to us...?'
Lowlight: No more lastminute.com five quid offers.
Crap Picture Gallery (click on thumbs to see large image)
Crap Match Report Compendium
london towers official
towers dancers
whats bev - uk basketball forums
| Sunday 28 March, 2004 |
London Towers 87 Milton Keynes Lions 79, 27/03/04
Another Saturday night, another packed house at the Crystal Palace dive. That will be the Mad as a Wet Hen spine bending youth then leaping twenty foot from the diving board in the pool below. I pondered some pics of the belly flopping boys but it didn’t seem appropriate having snaps of barely legal teenagers in swimwear. The Towers Dancers however are a different matter. If there's grass in the outfield etc, play ball. Mmmmmm.
It's no surprise that the Towers unbeaten home form in 2004 has coincided with the Dancers own fine form on the court. Who could fail to be inspired by a dozen or so hoop honeyz panting, pelvis pushing and p-teasing in-between play? My my, those basketball shorts sure are baggy, which is a good job as I'm some of the players must be playing at full mast. No need to ask as to why I need to remain seated throughout a game.
Cometh the hour, cometh the leg flashing lovelies |
Another returning favourite was Towlie, the most virile youth in UK basketball. Who else could charm the crowds at halftime shooting his load from the halfway line with ease? Good work fella and we hope to see you in a Towers jersey soon.
Baskets were exchanged during a workmanlike opening quarter with the most spectacular sight being ex-Tower John O'Connell's latest lighthouse look masquerading as a haircut. The home team trailed 18-19 come the short break.
Towers were finding it hard to find their feet. Shame that Lions point guard Sherman Rivers (I'm not making this up) managed to find his voice. A WHOOP here, a SQUEAL there and a CHAMON you Badass Mutha every time he wanted the ball. Towers took a 46-33 lead into the halftime break without truly breaking sweat.
A quick burst from the Lions at the start of the third brought the score back to 50-49 and the home team were in need of some inspiration. Cometh the hour, cometh the leg flashing lovelies. Unfortunately Neil the DJ managed to mess up the music leaving the girls stranded centre court strutting their stuff in silence. Even without the bump and grind I was still in a state of excitement where it was socially unacceptable for me to stand up and proudly display my own current state of play.
'Towers Dancers I owe you a BIG kiss' declared Neil.
Not sure who is the luckiest here.
'I promise I won't mess this up,' said the man with the mic. Towers coach Robbie Peers was no doubt thinking the same as his team were in danger of a fourth quarter collapse.
A poor finish from both teams prevented either side pulling away. With play like this, Towers will be punished come the play-offs. Trailing 70-74 at one stage, it was left to the ever reliant Omar Sneed to power Towers home with a late quarter burst.
Highlight: My cover being blown and being chatted up by the Towers Dancers. Well, I was the one doing all the chatting as they looked up for a familiar face with a thought bubble saying:
'HELP! Scary man with a goatee... And why won't he stand up whilst he is talking to us...?'
Lowlight: No more lastminute.com five quid offers.
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Crap Picture Gallery (click on thumbs to see large image)
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Crap Match Report Compendium
london towers official
towers dancers
whats bev - uk basketball forums
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Crap Match Report| Saturday 27 March, 2004 |
Dulwich Hamlet 3 Marlow 1, 27/03/04
Welcome to football friendly Dulwich Hamlet, home of grass roots football in the local community. The hand of welcome from The Voice of Champion Hill wasn't quite that open however, declaring before kick off:
'A message for our younger fans (which given the average age of the doddering Dulwich coffin dodgers means anyone under the age of 55): If you want to play football, DON'T.'
Quite right to. The reason we sit in the stand scoffing our hot dogs whilst the muscular models of manhood make merry on the pitch is because we're shit and we know we are. I don't pay my seven quid to watch some playground kick about break out on the vast open and empty terraces. Actually I don't pay my seven quid at all, but that's not the point. Now clear off back to your Playstations or whatever ankle munchers get up to on Saturday afternoon in their quest lower the average IQ of the nation.
The most challenging task awaiting me was to unscrew the lid off my flask |
Blue-Mouthed Boy Al-James Hannigan headed home at the far post after nine minutes and then hotfooted over to the Hamlet fans, no doubt to thank them all politely for not hoofing the ball on to the pitch.
The chain of command down at Dulwich is direct; if the Chairman is unhappy with the state of the pitch he tells the Manager. The Manager then informs the Chief Groundsman who in his spare time also cleans up any stray pigeon shit from the stands. Chairman / Manager / Pigeon Shit Sweeper Martin Eede is the main motivating reason as to why Dulwich are positioned well for promotion. So what if the pitch is cutting up after eight months of football? It still didn’t stop Omari Coleman from stroking the ball around with the inside of his boot, finding his man every time.
Meanwhile Marlow 'keeper Kieron Drake looked set for a busy afternoon. There's nothing quite like blowing your own trumpet but with some Burberry bedecked yoof behind his net hooting as loud and as often as possible on his own organ, so to speak, goal mouth clearances were landing in the nearby Sainsbury car park.
Dulwich were dominating the play but failing to give Hannigan further cause to demonstrate his commendable expletive dexterity. Fuck that, we just want a goal you cunts.
A goal duly came after thirty six minutes which indeed did induce mass swearing from the shackled fans who were probably now wishing that they could organise their own 5-a-side behind the net to ease their frustration. A deflection from a cross caught out Dulwich 'keeper Paul Seuke to give a 1-1 scoreline as the teams headed in at halftime.
As the two teams tucked into their cuppa and I gave myself a Chinese burn trying to unscrew my flask, The Voice of Champion Hill gleefully had his hands wrapped around his own seven inches of fun. A new roaming microphone has been invested in and gosh, this has got potential; the possibilities are endless – live reports during the pre-game toss up ('Heads. Right you are son, which way do you wanna kick?'), halftime analysis from the Dulwich Rabble ('Where's me sodding ball?') and post-game in-depth conversation with Al-James. Actually, fuck that.
With the Happy Mondays Step On still blasting out as teams took to the pitch again, Dulwich did just that and put their foot down. A wonderful cross field through ball delivered by David Moore was positioned perfectly for Omari Coleman (who else?) to volley across the face of the goal and into the corner after forty nine minutes.
With the three points never really in ever doubt, the game then drifted for Dulwich until Francis Quarm fired home a net buster from the edge of the area with seventy seven minutes played.
A 3-1 final score against a lacklustre Marlow team. Perhaps the real reason as to why kick-a-bouts have been banned is that the away teams are afraid of being out-classed by some Man Utd replica wearing whippersnapper. Promotion to a higher standard of league can’t come quick enough.
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Crap Picture Gallery (click on thumbs to see large image)
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Crap Match Report Compendium
hamletweb
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