onionbagblog
Is this the Biggest Spoonhead in Britain?
Right wing 'historian' (read: fairytale teller) and Daily Mail columnist Simon Heffer last smiled in public back in 1976. And that was only because Princess Anne won an Olympic silver medal.
Having just sat through 50 minutes of Question Time featuring fatty 'Hereford' Heffer, the question has to be asked:
Is this man the biggest spoonhead in Britain?
What can be done to raise a smile from the man who thought Schindler's List was on par with the Only Fools and Horses Christmas special? A return to capital punishment is not an option…
• Heffer should be forced to spend 96 hours largin it at Glastonbury. With Bez as his personal host.
• Sod that - actually he should be spoon fed some serious Class A's and then be asked to write his column for The Daily Mail. It may make more sense then.
• Heffer is crony of Michael Howard and shares his 'prison works' sentiment:
'Prison is not just supposed to be a deterrent. It is supposed to be a punishment. It is supposed to be the vehicle of the expression of society's disapproval of certain unpleasant crimes.'
Fine - a life sentence in Brixton nick then for the porky chopped Tory Boy on account of his crimes against journalism and general repugnant public behaviour. Perhaps he'll then see the funny side of slopping out.
• Michael Portillo recently spent a week living as a single 'mum' on a Liverpool council estate as part of a crass TV project / blatant vote grabber. Heffer should star in a follow up series, renting a piss-stained sofa in a Toxteth crack den with Brian Harvey. Laugh a minute reality TV guaranteed.
• Failing all this, Heffer should be a handed a copy of the Daily Mail with the Viz masthead inserted in place of the Mail's. Endless hours of fun seeing how long it takes him to spot the error.
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| Thursday 27 November, 2003 |
Right wing 'historian' (read: fairytale teller) and Daily Mail columnist Simon Heffer last smiled in public back in 1976. And that was only because Princess Anne won an Olympic silver medal.
Having just sat through 50 minutes of Question Time featuring fatty 'Hereford' Heffer, the question has to be asked:
Is this man the biggest spoonhead in Britain?
 A life sentence in Brixton nick for the porky chopped Tory Boy |
• Heffer should be forced to spend 96 hours largin it at Glastonbury. With Bez as his personal host.
• Sod that - actually he should be spoon fed some serious Class A's and then be asked to write his column for The Daily Mail. It may make more sense then.
• Heffer is crony of Michael Howard and shares his 'prison works' sentiment:
'Prison is not just supposed to be a deterrent. It is supposed to be a punishment. It is supposed to be the vehicle of the expression of society's disapproval of certain unpleasant crimes.'
Fine - a life sentence in Brixton nick then for the porky chopped Tory Boy on account of his crimes against journalism and general repugnant public behaviour. Perhaps he'll then see the funny side of slopping out.
• Michael Portillo recently spent a week living as a single 'mum' on a Liverpool council estate as part of a crass TV project / blatant vote grabber. Heffer should star in a follow up series, renting a piss-stained sofa in a Toxteth crack den with Brian Harvey. Laugh a minute reality TV guaranteed.
• Failing all this, Heffer should be a handed a copy of the Daily Mail with the Viz masthead inserted in place of the Mail's. Endless hours of fun seeing how long it takes him to spot the error.
| #permalink |
